It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a first date but I still remember the roller coaster of emotions that go with it. If all went well, I would go home with a feeling of hope that something really special might develop as I got to know the person. Hope is a fragile thing, so it would take many dates before it could—perhaps—eventually growth into faith that this person was so special, so in sync with who I am, that saying “yes” if a proposal should be offered would be the right response.

By the time that proposal came, I had faith that all would be well, but it was still only faith. I could not be sure because as we all know marriage changes people. Day to day living is much different than courtship. Partners either grow together and their communion deepens, or they grow apart and a widening gulf develops. If we are fortunate and put in the hard work, we can arrive at the former and finally the last stage emerges….and that is trust. Trust is an inward assurance that without doubt we can count on our spouse to have our backs, always. To love, forgive, support and respect us under all circumstances. It is to be treasured and maintained by both parties.

Our relationship with God is exactly like that. As we are first learning about Him we can only hope that God is all some people say He’s cracked up to be. It will take study, time and patience to become one of the faithful who believe in what the Gospels tell us without seeing for ourselves that it is true. Doubts will arise from time to time, but in what relationship have they never plagued us now and then?

But if we prevail in nurturing our faith with prayer, daily time spent in an awareness of God’s presence in us and with us, and communion with God through our thoughts throughout our day, something wonderful happens. Just as in a marriage we go beyond hope, beyond faith into that dimension in our relationship with Him who IS love, in which the bond of trust is formed. We trust without question that God will never give us more that we can handle, and when we do have a cross to carry, it is His shoulder on the other side helping us bear it. His grace is abundant and constant, providing strength, forgiveness and wisdom. And most of all, He is the one Person who will never betray our trust. He earned it at Calvary on the cross.

A Face in the Crowd

Recently a friend of mine told me about a website she’d downloaded and was really enjoying. The name is “Hallow” and it is a Catholic Prayer and Meditation App. It’s not free, but she said she felt the minimal cost was well worth it. I subscribed the next day and have used it often during my Lenten prayer time. This is not an ad, I promise you. I just want to share an experience I had while listening to the Fourteen Day Stations of the Cross. Only one station is explored on fourteen consecutive days.

Beginning with the first station, “Pilate Condemns Jesus to Death”, the narrator delves deeply into the meat of the station, offering different perspectives and allowing brief moments of reflection. She begins the station by asking us to place ourselves at the scene, seeing and hearing all that is happening. Next she instructs us to imagine ourselves as one of Jesus’s enemies in the crowd shouting louder and more vehemently each time, “Crucify Him, Crucify Him!”

I was horrified. Me, calling out for Our Lord’s torture and death?….unthinkable. I just couldn’t do it. But during the silent reflection that followed, a thought took form in my brain—a sudden realization.

I have not always been a strong Christian. Although raised and educated in the Catholic faith, there was a time, years actually, when I gave up my faith and turned to a life of sin instead. What I came to know during that time of meditation was that each time I sinned and knowingly and willingly turned my back on God I was one of those crying out for Christ’s crucifixion…and He went willingly to the cross because of me.

Needless to say it was a moment of deep shame and sorrow. But it was also a moment of overwhelming gratitude for God’s mercy and forgiveness. Although I had turned my back on Him, He never gave up on me. God pursued me as in the gospel parable, the shepherd pursues a lost sheep. Through the Holy Spirit and God’s infinite grace, I found my way back. God will always come to us. All we need do is turn around, and accept Him. 


+God’s Love And Peace Be With You

Have you sent out your Christmas cards yet? It’s kind of a lost custom these days….replaced by group emails, texts and Facebook posts. I’m sure it’s my age, but I still send them out, always with a short handwritten message below. Before my signature I often write, “Wishing you God’s love and peace”.

After all, those are important sentiments of the season, aren’t they? God not only sent His Son into the world to redeem us, but also to show us the meaning of true love and what is required to be at peace. Two very short and simple words, and yet so complex and full of meaning.

I once read that love is synonymous with sacrifice. Certainly true in the case of Christ’s love for us. But what does it mean for us? Are we willing to sacrifice our own needs and wants for those of another? Are we willing to endure a rough patch when love seems to have withered with the hope that it can be regained with great effort and patience? Love may begin in the heart, but it is sustained in the mind and will. This is often difficult and certainly not what our current culture encourages. But it is very much what Our Savior meant when He bade us, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”.

What about peace? There are so many nuances to that simple word. There is of course the obvious meaning of countries not being engaged in conflict or war. But peace does not begin with actions, but in the heart, mind and will. They say there can never be peace without justice. But justice can never truly be legislated. All the laws on earth cannot change what a person feels. So how do we find true peace and justice? By following Jesus’s example. He did not congregate with Scribes who read and interpreted the scriptures. Nor with Pharisees who were thought to be superior in sanctity. No, He sought out tax collectors, prostitutes, beggars and sinners of all kinds. Those MOST unlike Himself. He loved them, healed them, forgave them and pointed them toward a better life.

What does that mean for us in today’s contentious world? I think it means we need to look past outer differences of race, creed, ethnicity, culture and political leanings and accept that those who are most different from ourselves are greatly loved by God and we have no right to demean or judge them. No one who hates is at peace. The two are simply mutually exclusive, So to experience peace, we must accept those who are “different” in our eyes. For to them we are just as different. But to God we are all His beloved children. He was born of woman, lived, died and arose from the dead for the salvation of all of us. Hallelujah!!

So as we approach the celebration of Christ’s birth, I wish you a very Merry and Blessed Christmas.

God’s love and peace be in your hearts and in your homes.

Good News – You’ve Qualified for an Upgrade

How often have you been approached by your credit card company offering you an upgrade from silver to gold or gold to platinum, listing all the additional benefits that will come you way? If you interrupt to ask the price, they will say, “Oh but wait, that’s not all, listen to this”. But finally comes “the bottom line”, the cost. And then you have to decide if what you’re getting is worth it to you for the price you’ll have to pay.

If you are reading this Blog, you have probably read my book, “In Our Image“. I began writing it because I was searching for a more personal relationship with Jesus I felt was lacking in my life. I’ve come to have the closeness I longed for and work to keep it from slipping away.

But as I was reading scripture during this Lenten season and meditating on it, something struck me. I had wanted that intimate connection to Jesus because He embodied not only a Divine but a human nature, with all its frailties and limitations save sin. I can relate to that!

We come to know so much about Him through the gospels, entering into a relationship with Him is not that difficult if we want it badly enough. But God the Father, for me was a different story. How can a finite being like me begin to comprehend the Author of the universe and He who begot the Son? So high on a pedestal did I place Him that He became impossible to reach, and I far too unworthy to approach.

Then a sort of epiphany happened. John says it so beautifully and so plainly. “Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.” 14:10, and “In that day you shall know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.” 14:20. So what exactly does that mean? It’s an offer for an upgrade.

So what extra do we get by bringing the Father down from His pedestal into our hearts when we welcome His Son? Jesus Himself said, “…the Father is greater than I.” John 14:28. We get the Father’s strength when we are faced with trials, sufferings and temptations. Just as He sent His angel to strengthen Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane as He wept and pleaded with the Father to remove the chalice of suffering, God will give the power of His own strength to us, His children.

How many times have you wished you knew how to proceed…what to do in a situation…or what to say? Maybe I should ask how many time a day, if you’re like me. Jesus told His apostles, “And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you always…” John 14:16. So you will get the great wisdom of the Father, wisdom that surpasses all understanding.

Wait, there’s more. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7.

The wisdom, strength and peace in the magnitude of the Father Himself can be ours if we unify ourselves with Him, let Him melt into us to dwell forever. God never knocks down the door to our hearts, He gently knocks and waits for us to open the door before He will enter in.

“So what about the bottom line?” you may ask. What price will we pay for this upgrade? A lot. For His wisdom, we must give up our need to control every situation, to determine the right outcome and find and execute the necessary steps to accomplish what we have determined is the best course of action.

For His strength we must no longer rely on ourselves alone to overcome the trials, obstacles and sufferings in our lives. Furthermore, we must look to the cross Jesus bore and carry our own crosses along with Him.

For His peace we must separate ourselves from the temptations, corrupted principles and worldly concerns that attack our sense of order and peace of mind on a daily basis. This is by no means an easy task, for we live in the world and must function in it. To be in the world and not of it is what God asks us to do, but His peace, regardless of what surrounds us, is our reward.

So there you have it. What do you say? Can I interest you in an upgrade?

Ghosts of Christmas Past

This year I will be celebrating my 77th Christmas. I come from a relatively large family if you will pardon the pun, and my Christmases as a child were magical. We all gathered at my grandmother’s house on Christmas Eve and Christmas. She did almost all the cooking and it was plentiful and delicious. The tree was real and fresh and decorated with those large multi-colored bulbs, hundreds of strands of tinsel and fragile ornaments the dog kept knocking off with a tail wagging with excitement as he welcomed each new guest. Of course dozens of presents surrounded the manger tempting us kiddies to guess what was inside.

As I became a young mother, the magic grew because I saw it through the eyes of my own children. I did my best to replicate the joy that seems only to come at Christmas…that warm feeling this special season brings out in friends and strangers alike. Going to mass on Christmas Eve with all the lovely flowers and lighted trees, with carols sung by the choir that brought tears to the eyes, was always so very special and meaningful. The Christmas spirit was never more palpable then right there in my church.

How different this Christmas is going to be for most of us. It already has been in many ways. My two nieces saw Santa and Mrs. Klaus in a drive-through “visit with Santa”, everyone all masked up to stay safe. I did all my shopping online instead of heading into Chicago to see hundreds of lighted trees and store windows decorated with various Christmas themes. Yes, it will be different and many of us will miss large family gatherings. But I’m so thankful to have had them to miss. And they will be back, hopefully next year.

When I think about that first Christmas, I’m sure it wasn’t the way Mary and Joseph had it planned either. There they were, with Mary ready to give birth, far away from home and family, with not even a room at an inn to afford a decent place to bring God into the world. Talk about hard Christmases, that one really takes the cake–bedded down in a stable with the animals and only a few curious shepherds to visit and pay their respects.

But their child had finally arrived. Mary had given birth, as the Angel Gabriel had announced was God’s plan, to the Son of the Almighty. Her joy and the joy of her husband Joseph must’ve been all-consuming that night. No big celebration or hoopla for the couple. But they had Jesus, their newborn son and the Savior of the world right there in their arms…holding Him, caring for Him. And that’s all they needed. And when you get down to the nitty gritty of it–that’s all any of us really needs to feel the true meaning of Christmas–to hold the Christ Child in our hearts. Not just on Christmas day but every day.

A Merry and a Blessed Christmas to all of you, and a safe, healthy and joyous New Year.

June 2020

As with all Americans, the events of the past week have been much on my mind. It has been an emotional time, bringing even greater heartbreak to a nation already hurting from a pandemic we could not have anticipated nor avoided.

So much has already been said–some of it helpful in finding a pathway forward toward peace and justice, some of it angry rhetoric that is meant to incite rather than heal. I thought long and hard about what I could, or should, add that would help at all. Perhaps getting to the heart of the matter, at least from my own perspective is a good start.

Jesus warns us not to judge lest we ourselves be judged. But at some time or another we are all put in a situation where we are called upon to render judgment. For instance, when I owned a small business, I was in a position to hire employees. In doing so I had to evaluate their qualifications and character and decide who would be best for the job. I tried to do so fairly and objectively. Judges, teachers, producers, and yes, parents, are all called upon to pass judgment over and over again. That is their job…and their responsibility.

However, there is another type of judgment that is never okay. And it has been prevalent from the beginning of time. That is prejudgment, when we judge someone without even knowing them or anything about them as an individual. We look at where they work, the neighborhood in which they live, the clothes they wear (a uniform perhaps), the color of their skin, the way they speak. And we render judgment. We assume something we have no right to assume, no way of knowing…their background, character, intentions, thoughts and what is in their hearts.

Assigning characteristics to any group of individuals is not only wrong, it is totally inaccurate–and extremely dangerous to us as a society. We have seen that played out over and over again, not just in America but in countries all over the globe. Until we learn to let go of preconceived notions of how another person may act, we will never get passed this problem and move on to a lasting peace where justice, not prejudgment can prevail.

We can’t like everybody…but before we decide we do not, let’s take the time to get to know them first. That’s fair enough, don’t you think?

Unintended Consequence?

Although we have concluded this year’s commemoration of Jesus’s passion, death and resurrection, I spent a good deal of time thinking about the reason for it all during Lent.

We learn from the scriptures and from Mother Church that God sent His only Son to become human and be put to death because  that was the only way our sins could be expiated and the gates of heaven open so we could spend eternity in God’s presence.

Now, I believe Christ’s suffering and death was necessary for this to be accomplished because my belief in God’s Word is absolute. But do I understand precisely why it was necessary? I confess I do not. It’s such an astounding concept that my finite brain cannot fully comprehend it. We are not able, nor were we meant,  to “figure out” the ways of God. He told us that Himself. And so, like many things, I take it on faith.

During my mental meanderings on the subject, however, I came upon a realization I had not previously thought about. Stephen, the first martyr after Jesus’s crucifixion, was stoned to death for the grave offense of blasphemy. This was the same crime of which the Sanhedrin found Jesus guilty after interrogating Him when He was arrested. Why did He not then suffer the same consequence? Why did the Jewish leaders find it necessary to haul Him off to Pilate and demand that Christ be crucified? Perhaps because they thought Him so great a threat to the status quo which kept them comfortably in power and public esteem that they wanted everyone to perceive Him a danger not only to the Jewish faith tradition, but to the realm of Caesar as well. For this indictment and the punishment of crucifixion they needed the governor of Rome.

Now Pilate was a cruel governor–ambitious, self-seeking and expedient. But in his dealings with Jesus one almost feels sorry for him. He knew Christ to be innocent and wanted to release Him. Much unlike the average criminal on trial, Pilate perceived a regal quality about the man. Someone who spoke with quiet authority, yet with deep humility. In the end, of course, Pilate yields to fear of a riot breaking out among the crowds and repercussions from Caesar and eventually condemns Jesus to death.

So let’s review all that Jesus suffered during His last twenty-four hours on earth. He is betrayed by one of His inner circle, arrested and dragged off in chains, abandoned by His chosen twelve, and denied three times by the rock upon which He chose to build His church. He is then interrogated and denounced by the Jewish authorities, scourged till bloody and weak, mocked and spit upon by those who tortured Him, then sent off to endure three hours of agony nailed to a cross He has been made to carry before a jeering crowd.

Why did God the Father allow His Son to be sacrificed in the cruelest and most humiliating of ways? I ask myself this question, but I already know the answer. Because this was God’s plan. And in the end that’s all I need to know, even if I don’t understand it. There is one aspect of the horrific suffering and manner of Jesus’s death I did come to understand, however. In the complicity of Gentile and Jew in this whole affair, and in the scope of the stage upon which this was executed, the entire world would come to know what happened. All people, then down to now, would come to realize through the retelling of this incredible event, the extent of God’s love for man. That the Father would send His Son to endure so much torture, pain, betrayal and rejection–for us, and that the Son would do it…willing and with mercy and abundant love is the unmistakable message we learn from the Passion of Christ.

Yes, the Word of God tells us that Jesus’s death was necessary for our redemption, but the manner in which it was accomplished tells us more than that. Unintended consequence? You decide.

Holy Week 2020

Last Sunday was Palm Sunday and now we are smack dab in the middle of Holy Week, leading up to Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday and Easter itself. I don’t know about you, but this week does not feel like Holy Week to me. It has always had a very solemn mood about it, but now there is a sadness that is hard to shake. Not coming together in church to commemorate Christ’s passion, death and resurrection detracts in no small way from the emotional connection we have to all of it. Many of us will not be gathering with family to celebrate the joy of Easter and all the traditions that go along with it.

But then I thought about what Christ said in Matthew 16:24, “Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.'” And then from Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

The world is a difficult and challenging place right now. Thinking back in the course of history, this is nothing new: wars, natural disasters, plagues, terrorists attacks. However what we are all going through, living the “new normal” resulting from COVID 19, is so different from anything we’ve experienced in our lifetimes. Let’s face it. It’s difficult to adjust to say the least.

But perhaps we can put a different perspective on it this week. Holy week won’t be the same, but it can be meaningful in a very special way. As we meditate on Christ’s journey to Calvary under the weight of His heavy cross, let us affix the cross we bear right now to His. Let us offer our hardships as penance for the sins that put Him there, and ask His forgiveness and His abounding grace in shouldering them.

Think of this as a joint effort. Shouldering Christ’s load with Him, and Jesus shouldering our load for us, together on the road to Calvary, there to die to the burdens we carry and rise another day–healed, renewed and jubilant.

“This too shall pass” And when it does, with God’s grace, we will emerge stronger, more united and appreciative of everyday blessings we so often take for granted.

I pray for all of you and wish you and your families a safe, healthy and blessed Easter.

Horse and Carriage

Way back when we still played records, before Pandora and playlists, Frank Sinatra recorded a hit song entitled “Love and Marriage”. For those of you who never heard it, the basic concept is that love and marriage go together…well, “like a horse and carriage”. For many growing up today that is as old-fashioned as the 45 vinyl it was recorded on. But that’s not the point right now.

We’re in the beginning weeks of Lent and it occurred to me that two main themes that Jesus preached about go together too–love and forgiveness. Love was big thing with Him. Love of the Father, love of neighbor, love of family, and the toughest of all, love of enemies. And, yes, love of self falls in there too because as we know, self-loathing is often projected outward.

I once heard someone say that the real test of love is the level of sacrifice we are willing to make for the ones we love. Certainly Jesus is the ultimate example of perfect love. He denied Himself everything–even sacrificing His very life–for those He loved. And He excluded no one.

Because we are in the midst of the Lenten season, forgiveness should be a big part of our concentration. Christ’s passion and death are all about forgiveness, i.e., redemption. Because after all, if we really forgive someone, we are in essence redeeming them in our sight. Their transgressions are wiped away…forever. That is if we truly do forgive as God forgives. Because when He forgives us, we are a clean slate, pure and new with a fresh start.

It’s not easy to forgive that way. Seven times might be pushing it, but “seventy times seven”? That’s asking a lot. It may even seem boundless. But that’s the extent of God’s love–boundless. Boundless for each and every one of us. Just as God commands us to “judge not lest ye be judged”, He commands us to forgive others their wrongdoings against us in order to obtain forgiveness from Him. And only one force in the universe can enable us to do that–and that force of course is love. Forgiveness and love, just like the horse and carriage, are coupled together. And just like love and marriage, each is strengthened by the other.

Have a blessed and productive Lenten season. God’s strength and peace to all of you.

My Walks with God

When we hear people speak of their “walk with God”, they usually mean their journey of faith–their path on earth, sometimes smooth, at others rocky and uphill. I have that personal pathway too. But that’s not what I’m talking about here.

This past year, I’ve committed to walking two miles every other day. When the weather permits, I have a route I walk, one mile to 47th street, one block over, and then back home again. Two miles exactly. Now that winter has settled in for good, I walk that two miles on my treadmill in the basement, staring out a small window at my neighbor’s privacy fence.

Recently I decided to make use of that half hour by having conversations with our Lord. I alternate. Some days I concentrate on the many blessings He’s sent my way and prayers He’s answered. Over the period of a lifetime there are too many to count, but I try. Other days I’ll think about ways I’ve sinned and hurt our Lord, the people I love…and those I don’t. I say I’m sorry and think of ways to make amends.

And then there are my supplication days. There are many intentions I pray for. Some are very specific, often for the well-being of those I love. Others are quite general and include our country and our planet. Because we are all connected to so many people and share common problems and concerns, this list can easily fill a half hour. And it’s okay to be a little selfish in some prayer requests. God understands our human nature. He created it.

The new addition to my prayer life is a little routine I read about. Each morning before rising it said, thank God for three blessings in your life. The older you are the easier this is. Trust me. And then each night before closing your eyes, thank Him for three blessings you received that day. God appreciates being appreciated, acknowledged and thanked for things. In that, I believe we do have something in common. And focusing on the good stuff in our lives promotes more positivity of spirit. It’s like taking a vitamin pill each day for a healthy mind and heart.

So I just thought I’d share my new habits with you…and thank you for reading my posts. That’s another thing I’m thankful for. May you and all you love have a blessed, safe and happy Thanksgiving.